Habits Over Hacks

Raising a family in 2024 brings with it unique opportunities. The internet has no shortage of “mom hacks." Hacks for occupying your toddler while preparing dinner. Hacks for packing your kids' clothes for vacation. Hacks for just about any activity, any hour of the day.

And yet, as I look at my daily life, I am surprised at how rarely these hacks leave a lasting impression.

It seems that the hacks that have stood the test of time are not the ones seen on the internet, but the ones seen in my community.

I saw Victoria bake her banana bread in muffin tins. I can never get the loaf to bake all the way through.

I saw my Aunt Marcy hang her t-shirts on coat hangers. Folding t-shirts is my most despised chore.

I saw Lauren add frozen peas to her kids’ mac and cheese. My two-year-old isn’t always reaching for the vegetables.

These simple hacks, while not life-altering, are small changes meaningful enough to leave an impact, to become a habit. It seems that when we invite the advice of the internet to guide our lives, we cast too wide of a net, seeking wisdom where it is hard to find. Dr. Becky Kennedy, author of Good Inside, put words to my dilemma:

“I’m usually not a fan of parenting 'hacks' or 'tricks' because they tend to prioritize short-term compliance over long-term connection and skill building...”

And isn’t this true? No matter the “hack” being sold to us, it is often not a meaningful, long-term solution.

We are overwhelmed by hacks promising to make us healthier, to make us happier. Yet we overlook the wisdom that is available to us in the people surrounding us, wisdom that is often much more relevant than the advice being offered to millions of followers.

Wisdom found, too, in the gospels. For when did Jesus ever offer a life hack? Jesus’ teaching was rooted in slowness, in communion, in abiding.

I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit… John 15:5

It is in community where we may find habits that are not short-term bandages, but tools that are long-term solutions. It is where we may find life-shaping rules to live by, big or small, to turn to again and again.

The internet is full of good ideas, and yet we can scroll through dozens of them and not remember one the next day. But what about the habits we see in the people around us?

So who in your life can you look to for the best kinds of rhythms, the most valuable wisdom? Maybe the next time you are seeking a hack, whether to sleep better, to look better, to feel better, you may cast a smaller net, and in doing so, find not more answers, but better ones.